Praju

Praju

Always a happy,calm and "satisfied with life" look on her delicate face...

They have always been close.. They've laughed together ,And shed some tears.. They've had harsh words, And pulled some hair, They always fought and hurt each other but at the end of the day they would giggle as if nothing has ever happened..

Their times together were very few, but Praju, your sis just wants to say she loved you and she always will !

Praju had a very hard life.. When she was 8 years old, they found the cancer.. And then the next 10 years was a journey of unbearable pain..

But she was so brave, so positive , she never ever lost her will power.. Cause some where down in her heart she would think that she is going to come out of this and so did all her family ...

But the tumor was very rare and the medical database on it was very limited. She had her 1st operation when she was in 4Th grade, they removed a ball size of tumor from her stomach but didn't forget to warn that its not the cure.. It can spread again and things can be serious..

They gave her radiation therapy and managed to control the tumor down but they knew then that it was just a case of buying time....

She had such beautiful hair, all girls would envy of.. Long, thick, jet black locks would curl around her fragile face, very pretty.. But her sis still remembers the day when Praju's chemo started and she started losing her hair, they were so precious to her but she had to part with them..

Then she started wearing a scarf around her head.. It was hard to go around sporting a scarf all the time... In school, in neighbourhood, people started noticing, and asking questions.. While playing on the ground, the scarf would come off and Praju would burst into crying.. They watched this all, they were with her, but they could do nothing about it, they were her family but a helpless family..

Her dad took her case to every possible clinic, discussed with all the top ones in the field, sent the case offshore too but to no avail...

Her mom would cry now and then.. But she could not even cry in front of Praju.. They thought she is not aware of the seriousness but least they knew that she would take out all the files and would read them often and fully knew how bad things are..

So was the life, but Praju never felt sad nor she ever cursed her life or god.. She would indulge in painting, drawing, learnt to play harmonium, went for German class, came first in the class, started learning computers, she was also a good cook , would learn everything what her mom would make at home.. I mean there was nothing she was not able to do, she wanted to learn so much in life, but she had so little time.. It was so painful for them to watch her desire to live life..

After few years, things started getting worse, her legs would swell up and she had to remain in bed for most of her time.. Then she got Ascites, that is fluid accumulates in tummy, it signifies advanced stage of the disease.. But still she would take a stool or chair and sit by the gas stove and cook something.. She hated sitting ideally..

All relatives started calling now and then, but never they heard her saying "I'm not well", or "this is paining".. She would say "I'm fine, every thing is fine"...

But then it was Cancer, and it took it's toll on her. Now she would say to her sister "I don't want to die", am NOT going to die!” And her sis would reply , “Well, of course you’re not going to die, everything is going to be fine."

But they both knew how lame were those words..

Her sister would run out of the room and cry in the bathroom..

They shared almost everything, their crushes, dresses, secrets,make up, everything..

And then the worst happened,At 18 years old, she got it. She had the answers to life's questions we still have no clue about..

Praju bid good bye to her harsh life and everyone around her.. And when she left, her sister cried every night for months.. She hated all those festivals, functions without Praju.. Felt guilty even thinking about celebrating the season.. But now just less than a decade later facing yet another New Year's Day without her dear sister, She's starting to get it.

So much Praju loved to gather everybody together for any festival and have fun, so her sis has got to do the same thing..

Author Kahlil Gibran wrote something so true, "When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in the truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight..."

How could this happen? They still don't know for sure. There are theories but rather than spending whole life trying to figure out how she died, her sis is trying to spend the following years emulating how she lived. Cause whatever little life Prajakta lived, she always saw some beauty in it, always celebrated every day doing something she liked.. That's the teaching she wanted to give to the world.. Live life to the fullest !!!

Birth of a color

When ever I see a color palette ,my fingers start trembling with excitement,I always get carried away looking at those dollops of colors and the magic they create when mix together..This is a story I wrote inspired by some colors--------

birth of a color

"Red "and "Yellow" were the best of pals.
so much they were together that they gave birth to a beautiful being and called him
"Orange"..

They were so much happy to have" Orange"..
But then one day "Red" thought if he can make Orange he can make something else as well so he ditched "Yellow" and went to" Blue" and together they made "Purple"...

Here "Yellow" was sad and craving for "Red" when "Blue" came and told that do not get upset,"Blue" also said that here you are crying and there "Red" is painting a town "Purple".
So "Blue" took "Yellow" with him and produced "Green"..

Seeing all this "White"(god-pure soul) arrived there and asked all the colors to join in.
"White" was so thrilled to find their new creations that he shared all of them with this universe and he was pleased to see the result,what he saw-

a blue lake by the stream
a yellow duck that goes Quack
a Christmas green and a color of spring
purple peacock feather and a gem stone
and the most beautiful thing one ever sees-A rainbow.................

A new beginning

Handy manny Back pack ready, mickey mouse lunch box with blue water bottle in tow, new uniform and new shoes , my 3 year old is all set to set his foot in a brand new school....

My child's first day at school will always be remembered by us. I was so nervous for him.

It was so nervy, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of morning for us...I was so upset because he had grown up so fast. And he was so excited.

I put his clothes on and as I was putting his shoes on, he was talking about the things he is going to do in school,giggling and talking in his own language...

I knew the day was coming and he was going to school. Every child has to go eventually.

We finally got his first lunch packed and got his bag packed. then we were off to school.

It was the hardest to leave him with his teacher that first day.

The teacher keep reassuring me he was going to be okay not to worry.

But in my mind I felt she couldn't take care of his needs like I could.

I left him any way. He had no problem leaving me.

He ran right into his classroom and joined in building a tower with the other kids in the room.

I stayed back for a few minutes to peek in and see how he was doing. He was in his own world.

This was an exciting experience for him. You could see on his face how excited he was.

He was taking every thing in and the joy on his face was priceless.

I wouldn't have taken that moment from him for nothing.

I finally left feeling a little bit better but still sad because his need for me had lessened.

I went home and I just didn't know what to do with myself.

I was so used to an active 3 year old following me around so needless to say the 4 hours he was gone was like 10 hours.

When I finally went to get him my poor baby was crying and saying to his Miss that he wants to go home... I felt like my heart is melting... In the morning he was so ok but after few hours without momma and papa, he started missing us... When I waved at him he came running to me and gave me a big hug...Afetr all he is just 3 and how do I expect from him to stay away from me so long... But I have to do this, every mother has to....

His teacher said he was good and was playing around and he will do better as days will pass...

And I was sure of that... I thanked god for blessing me with such a wonderful child...

first summer

blazing sun against my skin

cooling breeze flowing in between,

wild flowers swinging in every direction

tall grass bending at sun in salutation,

group of chirpy girls mingling with bikers

and surroundings filled with sun kissed air,

I feel half asleep,my eye lids are heavy

dreaming of mountains that are snowy,

in the dampish lawn a cat lie

playing with catnip toy beneath a fading sky,

mournful spring leaves the beautiful stage

bright happy summer begins her play....

Girl's night in ....

We all lead hectic, busy lives and sometimes a girl just needs to unwind, relax and have a little fun--at home,, so we (me and my 3 friends) decided to have some serious summer fun at one of our friends place...

There's no need for any reason to celebrate other than the joys of friendship! so we took time to unwind with our best girlfriends... Actually my friend's hubby was going out of town so she had this awesome idea of a night of fun,friendship and laughter..

So at 8.39 on Wednesday me ,Deeps and Prit headed to Vrush's place...It was 102 degrees F outside...But we never felt the heat as we were high on friend fever...

After saying byes and couple of good nights we politely sent Deeps's hubby home..And made ourselves comfortable on chairs and couch for a girlie night..

Apart from our talks, we had two entertainment , one is Vrush's lovely cat "Kalu" and my kiddo "Shiv"..(found cat better as it doesn't speak and my son doesn't stop talking)

Everybody knows what women talk about when hubbys aren't around. so we also spilled out our innermost desires, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, and fantasies...after some fun moments,the topic of job security took over,someone mentioned cases like visa stamping,then about H1,then money v/s marital bliss ..We talked about each other's interesting work, gossiped about Hollywood bollywood celebrities , discussed our *** lives and had fun, fun, fun.

But we didn't forget our tummies and relished on Jack fruit ice cream (courtesy Vrush) and then heavenly cold coffee and then again started talking, and maybe the caffeine loosened our tongues, but we were just going on and on and on (till 6 am ).

After that Deeps declared that her eyes are not keeping up with her and need to shut so we all went for a little early morning sleep...between our husbands (like I care for u so much types) called up and checked on us...At 8.30 am we got up from our unfinished sleep and Vrush blessed us with hot tea and sabudana Khichadi like a perfect host...Our night in was almost getting over and we already started our planning for the next one..We got along so great that we decided to have this often...

And after promising to watch upcoming Harry potter flick together we parted our ways to meet up again soon....

"Dream"

"Dream"

Some time in life you feel so down,don't feel like doing anything...
Wonder what I must be doing,?I go to sleep...

So I went to sleep and had a strange dream.,
there were lots of people around me ,one said,''hi,I'm grumpy,
other said,'hello there,my name is sunshine.
someone said,"I'm care,one said,"me love,
and there were these guys named fun, big heart around me...

I thought what weird names,but they said- we are not strangers,you know us too very well...
Then I noticed Grumpy with a frown so I asked him,whats the matter? why so sad? Suddenly this guy called Sunshine came forward and he gave a warm hug to Grumpy and grumpy was no more lonely and shortly surrounded by Love, Fun, Big Heart and rest of them....

and their laughter broke my sleep and the dream..........
but you know what,I was no more feeling low,,,the reason?
you know it better,don't you?????

So friends,bring some sunshine n joy in your life and in those lives who sorround you....

"A call from morning"

A call from morning

One day I got up ,
to find the moon was locked up..

The sun was smiling,
dew drops twinkling...

Somewhere near, the train passed by,
wonder what emotions its carrying and why????

I was lost in a trance and a phone rang,
Hallo,the voice said-its a beautiful day
and I started it with a bang!!

(i was just standing at the door in my house which opens in a patio full of trees and green when above words occurred in my mind.)